What Now?

10:50 AM

It would be harsh if I say I choose the wrong career path or say it's only later that I realized what I really wanted in life. A visit to that small office yesterday has somewhat pushed me to the edge of thinking what the hell was I doing?

Call it mid-quarter life crisis, yeah..but I'd laugh at the thought of it 'coz I'm already past that. Something's really bugging me these days lately, I don't even want to pressure myself to do something that has nothing to do with my passion. There's just something missing and I've yet to know what was that...

Just recently, I found myself mumbling "There goes another batchmate with a kid..." and I felt a deep sigh in my chest. Then, a lot of what if's came in to my mind.

What if I ended up marrying my first longtime boyfriend?
What if I got pregnant and had a family right after college?
What if I moved out of the house to live on my own?
What if I didn't resign from my first job?
What if I took that previous job opportunity to work overseas?

Will I be happier?

Someone told me to stop thinking about the stupid what ifs and focus on the present for it will determine what the future will bring. I was the happy-go-lucky type for the longest time and I had always been optimistic for whatever life brings. I guess I have a year to think to keep focusing on what I really wanted in my life. I got simple dreams of yeah, going abroad to work there, putting up my own business that involves my current passion in photography, and of course, having my own family. I just had to get rid of what's consuming me and my time lately...common sense tells me to stop 'coz it's not helping me anyway. No regrets.

I just know I'll be there soon...

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